Sexual violence, which led to the death of a student, has been reported in the mass media in recent weeks. Pesantren (Islamic Boarding School) is actually an area to obtain education, as well as a shelter and protector, even to act as a “substitute” for family or parents for students. Sociologist and lecturer at Faculty of Social and Political Sciences at Universitas Indonesia (FISIP UI) Dr. Ida Ruwaida, S.Sos., M.Si. assessed that the parenting patterns applied in pesantren that caused sexual violence are needed to be critically reviewed. Basically, sexual violence in pesantren may be found in other educational institutions. However, because pesantren are religious educational institutions, the acts of violence that occur are more highlighted. According to Dr. Ida, there is a tendency that violence cannot be separated from the social environment. Studies show that abusers generally have a family background that is familiar with violence. This tendency can occur in pesantren, considering that the length of stay of students is relatively annual. This means that when pesantren tolerate and are familiar with violence—regardless of the pretext or reason, including to discipline students—violence will become part of everyday life.
This means that when pesantren tolerate and are familiar with violence—regardless of the pretext or reason, including to discipline students—violence will become part of everyday life. Therefore, violence is not only cultured, but also becomes the character of the students during their stay, even after they are graduated from pesantren. Dr. Ida mentioned that there are at least four main factors that cause violence in the pesantren environment. First, the paternalistic culture or tradition of pesantren. The culture or tradition of pesantren tends to place a kyai (a Muslim religious leader in Javanese) as the central figure, reference, or even role model. Obedience to a kyai becomes an instilled part so that being critical will be considered deviant until it is believed to be a source of sin.
The students prioritize obedience because of the belief that a kyai is the “guardian of God” on earth. This perspective underlies the development of a one-way parenting pattern, oriented towards the figure, and tends to be authoritarian. Second, there is an assumption that violence is part of the learning media. Some pesantren use violence as a form of punishment for students who violate the rules. The purpose of punishment is to make the transgressors feel guilty.
This means that the wisdom of punishment is not understood by the students, including the nature and function/benefit of enforcing the rules. In other words, the students follow the rules not because they realize and internalize the importance of the rules, but because they are afraid of the punishment they will receive if they break them. The third factor that triggers violence in pesantren is the dilemma between the sense of solidarity of pesantren people and humanitarian literacy.
Solidarity is often interpreted as defending or silencing friends, including the abusers, despite their wrong attitudes and behaviors. Therefore, it is necessary to educate all multi-stakeholders, namely teachers, assistants, students, and parents/guardians, that pesantren is a religious education institution that produces graduates who are not only religious experts, but also someone with positive tolerance, integrity, and humanism. One of them is characterized by the spirit that pesantren is an area that rejects violence, regardless of its form. The last factor that triggers violence in the pesantren environment is the lack of understanding of diversity. Pesantren is not a homogeneous area. Each student has a diverse socio-economic background, living area, disposition and character, and cultural background.
Educating and caring for students with different backgrounds is certainly a challenge in itself. It is necessary to review the position and role of pesantren as an educational institution that actually acts as a “cross cutting affiliation“. Thus, diversity and inclusive attitudes become part of pesantren life. The occurrence of violence in pesantren seems counterproductive to the approach exemplified by the Prophet Muhammad PBUH in building the character of the people, namely with an open, persuasive, gentle, wise, and humanist attitude.
Violence in pesantren can be avoided and prevented because Islam has a spirit of anti-violence. Pesantren as an educational institution is one of the agents of socialization. In fact, for students who stay for many years, especially since they graduated from elementary school, pesantren has become the primary socialization agent. This means that learning patterns and parenting patterns in pesantren greatly contribute to the formation of students’ character.
This means that learning patterns and parenting patterns in pesantren greatly contribute to the formation of santri character. This is different from non-pesantren educational institutions whose students are at school for 6-10 hours per day. There is no formula or standardized model related to parenting in pesantren because each pesantren has its own characteristics, uniqueness, and diversity.
When referring to the nurturing function, the approach used departs from the assumption that pesantren is the students’ second family or parents. Pesantren functions to educate, protect, nurture, and empower students, not to utilize, let alone to exploit. Pesantren managers need to understand that students are still classified as children (12-19 years old), so children’s rights need to be respected, fulfilled, and protected.
Pesantren managers need to understand that santri are still classified as children (12-19 years old), so children’s rights need to be respected, fulfilled, and protected. “Pesantren is an anticipatory socialization agent because it not only prepares preachers, but also candidates for religious leaders. Therefore, pesantren should educate and teach students to have a strong leadership spirit, not to be shaken by the waves, not to be weathered by the times, and not to forget their Indonesian cultural roots. The students must also be able to control their emotions, be creative, independent, have integrity, and be inclusive,” said Dr. Ida.
Dr. Ida added that such a character can only be built from pesantren whose figures, kyai, teachers, and managers are able to become role models or references for their students. Parenting that prioritizes “exemplary” has been successfully demonstrated by the Prophet Muhammad PBUH. Referring to Role Theory and Social Learning Theory, observation and experience are powerful learning resources in building “self-concept” and self-characterization. “In addition, there needs to be a strict state policy in controlling the practice of organizing education and care in pesantren by involving strategic stakeholders.
